Perfectly Broken in 2020

by Dawn Okrasinski

Years ago, I read a devotional entitled, “The Cup of Our Life” by Joyce Rupp. In it, she used an ordinary cup as a symbol of our sacred relationship with Christ. She proposed that like the cup we come to Christ in our fullness and our emptiness. We come with our cracks and chips wrought by lifestyle and experience. And, by the end of that six weeks of study, I had come to the realization that it is in all those states that the Lord reaches us in a way that not only heals but calls us out of ourselves to further His glory. I propose that for many of us, 2020 offered the same opportunity. Death, economic shortage, a political storm, and social and moral crisis had its personal effect on all of us. The degree to which was directly proportional to our daily spiritual connection and how much we leaned into that sacred relationship for meaning and direction. I can only speak for myself, but my cup has a few more hairline fractures and sports a ding on the handle. Yet, it is overflowing with love, hope, and promise.

Seeking value in the face of adversity, I try to find meaning during seasons of trial. If I do not, I fall prey to a dark and swirly vacuum of “Why bother?”  Immediately setting off a domino of thought that leads to: Why persevere? Why be patient? Why pray? Like Jonah, I point an indignant finger at God and question the point. Yet, I have learned that when I seek the “WHY?” through faith in prayer, I am once again blessed with the revelation that God uses that perfect brokenness to do his will. 

Romans 12:2 (NIV) Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.

How not to conform to the pattern of this world became the bigger challenge in 2020.  Phones specifically designed to ping the algorithms of our personal avatars created over years of posting “likes”, fed us daily info on politics, pandemic, and personal interests. Unable to control the circumstances around us, we spouted off vehemently and worshipped idols that had nothing to do with being Jesus-centered. I fell prey to outrage and disgust. Asking for clarity, I penned an index card with Ephesians 6: 6-18 and taped it on my computer screen. This was not a Chicken Little moment. I had to call out the big guns; Spiritual armor was needed daily.

Have I transformed? Honestly? I’m limping a little. Materialism has given way to giving more and buying less. Relationships have fallen away to a valued few supporting who I am as a Christian woman and challenging me to take giant leaps of faith. I am being called to serve differently and more often. God has walked with me through family pain, loneliness, and boredom. The book of James gently convicted me while shoring up those areas of spiritual maturity dulled by stress.  Ann Voskamp’s “One Thousand Gifts” anchored me in gratitude that left me seeing my world through a different lens. Is it possible to come out of the storm feeling surrounded by a bubble of golden blessing? Jesus says yes to that. I do too.

James 1:12 NIV Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

So, as you stand up and dust yourself off from 2020, I ask you this question: How have you transformed and how will God use your brokenness for 2021?

Reflection:

Isaiah 40:31 (GNB) But those who trust in the LORD for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles; they will run and not get weary; they will walk and not grow weak 

James 1: 2-4 (NIV) Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Romans 15:4 (NIV). For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.

Action:

Take time to pray for God’s vision for you this coming year. What is he asking you to do and what are you going to do about it?

 Note the changes in your life and the differences in your priorities. Your brokenness and the gifts you found along the way can be used for His glory. God is ready to use you for exactly that person who is lost and questioning their faith at just this time.